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Usually when i hear about Piazzas for sale they are bloody miles away but just the other day i heard about one only 30 minutes from home so i rang the guy, yep it was still there and he wants $400 for it, no plates but with a bit of paperwork and some cash that can be sorted so I asked him what it was like as I am always on the look out for spare parts. Jeez did he get offended, PARTS? he said, no way, it is too good for that "ITS A MINTER" he said and yes I could come for a look but there is no way he is going to break it up for spares...the very thought had him snuffling and puffing, I thought he was going to have a seizure!

Well I've got a project on and it needs a fair bit of tidying so i thought if this one is that good I should grab it and cut up the project for spares instead.

When I got there I saw its little bum hiding behind a fence and it looked fine at a distance. Metallic grey G200 non turbo. Thats where it all ended. The interior was effed in every way, torn upholstry, cracked dash, rotten carpets, mouldy head lining and a spider the size of a dinner plate patrolling the back seat. Under the bonnet it was a mish mash of sticky tape, bodged wiring, rusted radiator, thick yellow sludge in the cam cover and the outside of the donkey was like the exon valdez disaster.

The right front guard was rusting away as were the sills in the usual water traps and the roof gutter. The rear hatch had the pox and the left guard has been parked against a brick wall by a couple of inches too much. Both screens have been sealed with builders putty to replace the rubber finishers
and both bumpers had cracks. The fuel tank was rusted almost through as well. To cap it off it had 3 wheels that were 14" and one that was 13". The shocks were stuffed as well. YEP SHE IS A MINTER ALRIGHT!!!!!

I said to the bloke, "is this the car we talked about on the phone" He said " sure is and its a good un innit"

I told him if he wanted to sell the wiper arms to give me a call and i walked away...probably the first time i have walked away from a piazza without looking back once. I'm sure I heard the spider banging the wheel brace on the window so i wasn't hanging around.

My missus and son were with me and nothing was said until about two hundred yards up the road and my son says " its a good un innit"

I laughed so hard I nearly rear ended the bloke in front and I think my missus wet herself.

One mans treasure is everyone elses piece of shit!!!!!

was he jewish? Myself I would of bought it. Maybe you should of offered him $50 and asked him if the spider was for free?

Dont you fucking hate that? Had a similar thing happen twice.

The first time was back when i was 15, i was looking for my first car. There was a bloke selling a Gemini coupe for 1500, had all the good stuff like a 2L, 5speed, extractors, resprayed orange etc etc. I thought mint, so i nagged the old man and off we went to Berwick, about an hour and a half away from where i lived.

I get there and this thing is a shambles, my dad nearly kicked my head in. The "fresh" respray had runs and tiger stripes all over the joint. The car had been in a MASSIVE accident at some stage and the repairs as you could imagine, were about as good as the paint job. The front was hanging down, and where the roof had buckled Mr Wiseguy had just bashed the roof out and bogged it. Who cares about the structural damage ah?

Another one was more recently, just before i bought the Piazza. It was a TX Sedan fitted with a G200 DOHC, sounded the goods. Gunmetal grey, Haltech ECU etc etc. Talk to the bloke, his like yeah the bodys pretty good you know, paints good everythings mint i just havent driven it in a while. I get there at 9pm and i nearly had a heart attack.

The amount of rust and bog visible in the pitch black of the night was unbeleivable. My cousin has virtually fuck all clue about cars and he could even spot it. "I havent driven it in a while" really meant "its spent 3 years under a tree with the bonnet up", which as you could imagine meant the engine bay was full of leaves. I was stupid enough to try jump start it, and in typical G series fashion it turned over...after about a million sparks lit up the engine bay. Looked like a fireworks display.

I mean fair enough, your not going to say "yeah mate, things rooted and im asking too much for it", but dont bullshit out of your ass.

Just my whinge.

Nick-

wedgenut wrote: " its a good un innit"

Probably was when he bought it.

I take it you turned up in a Piazza, You shoud have turned to him and asked "you talking about my car pops?? Why thanks yeah it is"

Im for the $50 offer but only if he relocates the spider. Should be able to coax it out with a leg of lamb. (No Kiwi sheep joke or pun intended)

Sounds to me like you son has sense of humor.

It happend to me too. Hire a trailer and drive 300km to buy a straight 308 HZ station wagon with the lot. Get there and its got a dent in every panel and rust galore and none of the lot work, but it did run i will give the guy that. Chased around Melb all arvo for a decen straight car to take home. Bought the first one i got an honest description on and too it back up bush.

Bob.

I take it you turned up in a Piazza, You shoud have turned to him and asked "you talking about my car pops?? Why thanks yeah it is"

Im for the $50 offer but only if he relocates the spider. Should be able to coax it out with a leg of lamb. (No Kiwi sheep joke or pun intended)

Sounds to me like you son has sense of humor.

Too right, I rolled up in the Turbo and while the paint is typical Piazza red, gone all nasty, it was a picture in comparison. I wouldn't even have given him $50 for it. It would have been hard to see what you would get for it except maybe the back axle and some brakes but i don't need another shell to try and get rid of really. We don't get too many big spiders here but this one was ginormous, it was an avondale spider like they used in the movie aracnaphobia (is that spelled right?) Who cares he can keep it as well.

My son is a bit of a dry bastard, I recall a South Island trip where we had been driving down the plains for hours hardly seeing another car until we came to the next small town and at the traffic lights there were two cars in front of us and one heading the opposite way...the boy mutters "another bloody traffic jam" LOL